There is a rumor of a theft likely to occur soon. Many people are expected to be robbed by this thief, probably within the next 24 hours. It is suspected that the thief is based out of Washington D.C. Allegations of theft have thus far failed to curtail the activities of this thief, partly due to a failure to catch said thief in the act. This thief is wide-striking, in that the occasions of theft are expected to occur in many geographical areas covering much of the continental US. Psychological impacts of this theft are immeasurable. Support animals have proven to be ineffective.
Despite reports of theft of this type for many years, no suspects have been charged. If fact, all suspects are known to be at large. Descriptions are diverse, but they are believed to be dangerous, and allegedly use a weapon called legislation. Officials have been either unable or unwilling to apprehend this thief, thus far.
Before you check, it is unlikely that any insurance will cover this theft.
Be advised that this thief is stealthy, allegedly being able to steal our most valuable commodity--time--from us--under our very noses. Illogically, the best remedy against this thief is going to sleep early.
Now, this is just the rumor mill. There is probably some basis in fact for this rumor, but I'm sure this started off small, and grew as it spread.
