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Author Topic: Anyone heard a good joke lately?  (Read 43619 times)

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scottb

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Re: Anyone heard a good joke lately?
« Reply #120 on: February 09, 2020, 08:03:10 am »
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GTRS Fiero

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Re: Anyone heard a good joke lately?
« Reply #121 on: February 09, 2020, 08:32:27 am »
Only if, when you rub it, a genie pops out.
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Fierofool

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Re: Anyone heard a good joke lately?
« Reply #122 on: March 28, 2020, 06:01:13 pm »
Borrowed this from a Nextdoor neighbor.

NO TV SPORTS FOR TWO WEEKS

I just had a very interesting one-hour conversation with my wife.  She's a very nice lady.  Apparently she used to be a medical transcriptionist and is now retired.
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There are three kinds of men:

1.    The ones that learn by reading.
2.    The few who learn by observation.
3.    The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.    Will Rogers

GTRS Fiero

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Re: Anyone heard a good joke lately?
« Reply #123 on: March 28, 2020, 06:06:33 pm »
We now have virtual sports.
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TopNotch

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Re: Anyone heard a good joke lately?
« Reply #124 on: April 12, 2020, 10:45:56 am »
What do you mean, I can't drive my Fiero today?

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The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play.

Fierofool

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Re: Anyone heard a good joke lately?
« Reply #125 on: July 02, 2020, 03:39:58 pm »
Do you have Liberty Mutual Insurance?  Did you know they use a child molester in their commercial?

The Liberty agent is talking to a mother and her daughter.  First, he pulls a coin from behind the little girl's ear then a pen and note pad.  He then pulls phone and a desk from her.  Next he pulls an office chair and sits down in it.  Then he reaches over and opens the little girl's drawers and sticks his hand inside.  https://youtu.be/VeUvTkO6wVE
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There are three kinds of men:

1.    The ones that learn by reading.
2.    The few who learn by observation.
3.    The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.    Will Rogers

TopNotch

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Re: Anyone heard a good joke lately?
« Reply #126 on: September 16, 2020, 11:26:10 am »
Crosby Stills and Nash...

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The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play.

GTRS Fiero

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Re: Anyone heard a good joke lately?
« Reply #127 on: September 16, 2020, 06:20:27 pm »
Clever editing.  A Nash was probably the last thing they were using to run moonshine.
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GTRS Fiero

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Re: Anyone heard a good joke lately?
« Reply #128 on: September 16, 2020, 06:20:59 pm »
Quote from: scottb on February 09, 2020, 08:03:10 am


Probably not good to the very last drop.
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PK

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Re: Anyone heard a good joke lately?
« Reply #129 on: March 12, 2021, 02:23:25 pm »
Quote from: GTRS Fiero on June 27, 2019, 10:31:50 pm
A bunch of cows watched while a group of people meditated.  "OOOOOOOOOOM"

One cow turned to another, and said, "I think they have it backwards".


Did you know Edam is made backwards?

And while I'm here....

I think my wife is putting glue on my collection of antique weapons. 

She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns.
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TopNotch

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Re: Anyone heard a good joke lately?
« Reply #130 on: May 30, 2021, 12:44:03 pm »
If the Indy 500 race ever becomes a race of electric cars, will someone say, "Drivers, flip your switches!"?
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The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play.

GTRS Fiero

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Re: Anyone heard a good joke lately?
« Reply #131 on: May 30, 2021, 01:01:51 pm »
Flipping off a driver will take on a new meaning.

When, after the opening ceremonies, no sound is heard, the next thing over the radio will be, "Drivers, check your batteries!"
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TopNotch

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Re: Anyone heard a good joke lately?
« Reply #132 on: July 05, 2021, 11:05:19 pm »
Astronomy joke.

About 63 Earths could fit inside Uranus.
64 if you relax.
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The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play.

Fierofool

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Re: Anyone heard a good joke lately?
« Reply #133 on: July 06, 2021, 07:29:51 am »
Butt, butt, butt, Doctor!
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There are three kinds of men:

1.    The ones that learn by reading.
2.    The few who learn by observation.
3.    The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.    Will Rogers

TopNotch

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Re: Anyone heard a good joke lately?
« Reply #134 on: September 03, 2021, 12:16:00 am »
Why do astronauts use Linux?
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Because you can't open Windows in space!
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The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play.
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