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Author Topic: Shaking hands  (Read 14783 times)

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GTRS Fiero

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Shaking hands
« on: January 10, 2017, 01:16:17 pm »
I'm just wondering.  Not trying to start any wars, so just bear with me.  Is there any difference when you shake a woman's hand vs a man's hand?

I don't know if things are different for a woman, or for other guys, but it feels different, for me.  Whether it's a business deal, or just hello, or whatever.  It isn't natural for me to shake a woman's hand to seal a deal, where it is with a guy.  For professional associates, a handahare is a gesture of goodwill.  Again, it comes naturally to me.  Political handshakes, regardless of gender, not so much.  No dead fish handshakes from me.

If it's a sign of peace, I apply the same pressureas the woman.  For guys, I make sure to leave them an impression, and let them know that I'm someone who can be counted on.  Well, until November, when I tore up my right hand, and can't apply and pressure.  Now, handshakes are rather excruciating.

Anyway, what goes through your mind when you shake someone's hand?  I'm curious what women think when offering their hand for a handshake, as well.

Seriously, other than when being introduced, how often do women shake a man's hand when you see them?  When female friends and relatives show up at my house, or myself at their house, we don't shake hands, but the men do shake hands.  Perhaps it's different for you.  I can't remember shaking my wife's, mother's, grandmothers', or sisters' hands.  Ever.  One of our female clients always offers her hand for a handshake, and she looks as awkward about it as I feel.  The fact that her hand is half the size of mine doesn't help.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2017, 08:56:45 am by GTRS Fiero »

Fierofool

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Re: Shaking hands
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2017, 04:30:51 pm »
Fixed the title for you.

At one time the rule of etiquette was that you only shook a woman's hand if she offered hers first.  With all now being equal, it's probably acceptable to extend your hand first.  If it's someone you're very knowledgeable of, friends with, or a relative, a hug might be OK.  I hate the back patting hugs, so I just hug with a good squeeze.  Same for some of the men. 

I've read women's complaints about having their hand clamped so hard that it hurt afterward.  At church, I hug many of the woman I know.  Only the ones I really know.  They often make the first move, whether it's a handshake or a hug.  If it's a handshake, start with a grasp as if you were just holding hands and then follow their lead.  Use your full hand as if you were shaking with a man.  Nothing wrong with letting them set the tone.  But man or woman, look them in the eye while shaking hands. 

There are three kinds of men:

1.    The ones that learn by reading.
2.    The few who learn by observation.
3.    The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.    Will Rogers

GTRS Fiero

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Re: Shaking hands
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2017, 04:42:42 pm »
Fixed the title for you.

LOL!

Yes, of course look them in the eye.  I do seem to remember something about letting the woman offer.  Yeah, if a woman wants me to shake her hand, she'll have to offer.  Church is different.  Some people are big into hugs.  I didn't grow up with them.

I've never crushed any woman's hand.  That'd be brutality.  My handshake is meant to convey firmness--not strength.  Women don't seem to base their judgments of men on a handshake.

”All now being equal"?  Nothing political, but I find that funny. Men and women have always been equal, for most of us.  Some people just took longer to catch on.

My question, though, is about closing a deal.  If you purchase a car from a man, you shake his hand at the end of the deal, right?  How about a woman?  I'm not suggesting that Id refuse to shake hands; I'm just saying that I don't find it natural.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2017, 07:05:28 pm by tshark »

Raydar

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Re: Shaking hands
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2017, 04:58:48 pm »
I work with / around / for a good number of women.
I usually shake hands, but I have to strike a balance so that I can offer a firm - but not crushing - handshake.
...

GTRS Fiero

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Re: Shaking hands
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2017, 05:52:26 pm »
Do you seal the deal with shaking their hand?